22 June 2010, 8:26 am
I am 30 yrs old, my son is 7. His Dad terminated his rights years ago so that is not the issue.However, I live only blocks from my mom yet never see her. She is at the bar all the time, sometimes days before she stops home to 'freshen up'. I have 3 brothers, 1 is locked up for a long time, another has wife, kids and though we get along great, he travels for his job and my sister-in-law has a life of her own, my youngest lives with my mom and like her, he is out alot.They have always kind of excluded my son and I from activities they do i.e. picnics, camping, etc. I have no friends, I don't party and prefer to do anything outdoors with my son over getting a sitter and going out...which seems to be the only thing to do in this town. I use to move around alot until my son was born. There are so many interesting places to see! I have stayed put with my son since he was born, work factory, and in our free time, depending on weather, we go fishing, swimming, sledding and junk. My son has some behavioral issues(he was diagnosed bi-polar but with therapy and my efforts to try new things,approaches, he does very well.He also has sensory processing disorder) My son does very well with his school work, learning..but he has had a difficult time making any friends.He is very friendly and outgoing but he gets made fun of alot.My mom takes my neice(my locked up brother's daughter)almost every weekend and she and my son get along very well but my mom rarely is 'in the mood' to do anything with us.My mom never takes my son and IF she is not busy and needs money, she will babysit him when I'm in a pinch for work...unless my Grandma gives her money and she bails on me after I've already paid her and leaves me needing to call in because she's going out! I confronted her one time and she refused to talk to me for a year!Until my brother went to jail..Anyway, I want to move to California! I want the mountains, desert, gorgeous redwoods and ocean beaches to never be more than a day trip away! My son LoVeS the outdoors, is obsessed with sea creatures, too! I plan to move to Clovis first until I feel it all out and rent there is similar to here. I am not picky about a job and will work at an In&Out Burger or whatever!My son says he is thrilled to go somewhere new but of course, he's only 7! I told my mom and she agreed it would be nice for him to have access to so much more there than here.Now, my mom just called and told me it wouldn't be fair to take him away from here.That he won't make any friends there and he will hate me for it because he at least gets to hang out with my neice once in a while.She says he needs the stability of living here close to a support system though there ISN'T! I am torn. I feel like a bad mom to move him half way across the country but feel like even if it's not 'greener on the other side', we will have new things to see, new places to visit, etc. Aquariums, zoos, beaches, wildlife, museums...oh yes, and we both equally do not enjoy the 6 month winters here! Neither one of us is a fan of the ice, snow, subzero temps...what should I do?? Sorry to go on for so long! I have been to california a few times. I have enough money saved from the lack of doing very much here! I have been researching for the last 2 years! I just could never get up the courage to go but now, I have planned everything I possibly could from this end and set July 28th as my leave-date. Of course, i can't know how it will go on the way out or what will happen which is why i am so afraid but also why i want to give it a 'go'! i appreciate the answers i've gotten...much more un-biased than what i am hearing from my mom!... Read More »
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